Monday, May 30, 2011


I'm 99% certain, finally, that I'm going to sell my house. I've pondered this idea off an on for a looong time now. I mean, it's at least been 1.5 years that I've considered it. I leave that 1% b/c I reserve the right to change my mind, but I'm finally feeling it. Been waiting for this actually. The feeling inside that it's time, it's right, it's what I want to do.

Why? What changed? A few things. Tearing up my front yard has spawned a slew of thoughts, and when it comes down to it, I'm just not making the time to do anything to make this place into what I want it to be. Had I bought for a low price, then ok... it'd make sense to hang on, but considering what I pay for my mortgage + taxes, as a single person, it's a lot compared to the amount of enjoyment I get from it. I think it's a cute place. I wouldn't have bought it otherwise, but it also needs some work and I don't want to put the time nor money into it. It's a choice. I'm not being lazy. In fact, that's part of the problem: there are other things I want to do that are taking precedence.

I've stepped back into cycling. I'm enjoying it again. I'm loving yoga. I cooked this weekend and yum, yum, yum. I hiked with Scooter. I went to the pool. I went to a coffee house and did a bit of writing, then Brian met up with me and we chatted over some wine. In short, it's time to play. Houses come with a lot of work. I just don't want to put the effort into it.

I feel like every time I got close in the past to making this decision that someone gave me a long story about why I shouldn't sell. But ya know, we all have to make the decisions that are right for ourselves. It's not making me happy to know that I *should* be taking care of my front yard. I *should* be cleaning up the back. I *should* straighten up the garage. Well, that garage, that's part of it too in a sense. I don't want to own so much stuff. This is kind of funny for me to say considering that I live lighter than the vast majority of home owners I know. But really, I don't want all the yard equipment and things in the garage that are simply taking up space. What's the point?

Indeed, what's the point? Why own? If you're with someone, especially if you have a family, then yeah... I can see it. But why would a single female who makes a fairly decent salary, yet also owns a sick horse and doesn't know how to fix most things when they break spend the money on such a thing? I get that rent goes toward nothing. I do. But so do taxes in that sense. And there are the upkeep costs that when you consider the amt I pay every month for this on a single income, not making sense to me.

And I also feel I can stand on my own two feet and say enough with it. I know, without a doubt, one of the reasons I *had* to buy a place after Mike and I split was to prove to myself I could make it on my own. He had his doubts. I had my own doubts. And owning my own place, well, that was having the stability or perceived groundedness that I sought. And yet it's been more like a string tying me to something that hasn't felt completely organic. I forsee myself having another place. I'm not against homeownership. And maybe it'll be a fantastic thing where I meet someone and we go into my next place together. Or DESIGN IT! Now THAT would be awesome! I'd love to pick up something and remodel it into what I want, but 1) not this place, and 2) not on my own. It's kind of like kids in this regard. You can certainly be a single parent and many of them do a wonderful job. But this isn't ideally what I want. Kids bring so many positives, but I want to share that with someone else. Owning a home.. if it's a full-blown house anyway, I want that with someone else. My next place may be a townhome or something, but a home (at least an older one which are the ones that appeal to me) aren't for me right now.

What's next? Well, going to call Tues to have a few folks out to do bids on my front disaster of a yard. Need to do some painting inside. But you know... I don't have THAT much to do. Trim in the bathroom. Cleaning. But where will I go? Dunno.. I like the Far West area. I could live in Crestview. Love the south area too. Not really set, but I for sure won't be looking to buy. Not now.

99%? Yeah, but I'm feeling pretty damn good about this.